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Ramblings of the CrazyWhere are you?
Why did you leave?
Why aren't you here anymore?
I know where you are.
Why won't you come out?
Why won't you say hello anymore?
Please come out.
Please say something.
I don't want to have to hurt you.
But you won't come out.
I asked you politely.
Next time I won't be so polite.
You promised me you'd stay.
You lied to me...
Now you must pay.
Letters to the Dead - 1657 WordsDear My Dead Lover,
I told you that you needed to stop. I told you you’d end up hurting yourself, and now look at you. You’re lying there at the bottom of the cliff after I told you that you would hurt yourself. You didn’t listen to me, but you know what? You never listened to me. No matter how loud I screamed, you never listened to me. I told you to stop, but you never heard me.
Remember the time we first met? I do. I was at the coffee shop trying to study for a college final when you walked in. I had my earbuds in and couldn’t hear anything, but I could still feel. Which means I felt it when you bumped into me. “Bumped into me” is the wrong expression. It was more like a stampede into my back. I turned around, ready to be angry at you, but when I looked into your eyes, all I could see was someone I wanted to get to know. I saw a light, and I saw a spirit waiting to be set free. And
Off With Your HeadLosing your head isn’t as figurative as it seems. Trust me, I would know. There’s no better way to tell how a person can act by the way they think, and if you haven’t noticed, people think with their heads. If they think someone like me could kill after what I’ve been through and what I do with my life now, then they aren’t going to last long. If they are skeptical of me after seeing how I act, then they might last a little longer. But if they can relate with me, they’ll be guaranteed to live. You see, one with a mind such as mine can understand how I think, and if they understand how I think, then they can understand what I’m going to do. And if they understand what I’m going to do, they can avoid me when necessary to survive. Of course, they’ll only know when to avoid me if they think how I think. I’m guessing all of you reading this right now are the first two I described. Of course, if I’m right, which I always am, t
Let's Play Anna EpilogueAfter I was free from the scientists and my computer, Chy and I finished high school and college together, closer than we’ve ever been. Blumiere proposed to me shortly after getting my diploma, and the wedding was…well, extravagant. The seamstresses were right when they said I’ll be Lady Darclain, as I am now. It’s been quite a few years, and I think BJ is about to get up the courage to propose to Chy. Of course, I won’t tell her when he will. Why would I spoil that?
“Anna,” Blumiere says, poking his head in our bedroom, “Lily turned Lucas invisible again. Are you writing?” He walks up behind me as I type out what’s happening right now. “Anna?”
“Hold on,” I say without looking away from my screen. “I think I’m almost done.”
Lily and Lucas are our oldest children. Twins. Violet is our third child, and I’ve got our fourth growing in my belly now. I won’t
Let's Play Anna Chapter 15.Chapter 15. One More Thing Left to Deal With.
I wear all black to Cendres’ funeral. It’s mostly silent, seeing as how no one had any good things to say. A few tears fell, but they were all for the newly-orphaned Blumiere. At nineteen, he’s going to be Lord of Darclainia.
As we all stand around his grave, I stick out like a sore thumb, being the only one with blonde hair. Everyone else has the signature Darclainian blue. Blumiere and I are among the first to leave, but that doesn’t surprise me too much. The cause of death is officially natural causes, and it’s believable, mostly because everyone’s glad to have him gone. I kind of feel bad, but I feel much worse for Blumiere.
“I promise I’m okay, Anna,” he says when we’re back in his castle. It’s officially his now.
It’s been a week since I got back from…that, and this is the first time I’ve been truly alone with Blumiere. He k
Let's Play Anna Chapter 14.Chapter 14.
Grief. Pain. Heartache. Whatever you want to call it. I feel it.
I wish he would have killed me. I wish I would have died that day. I wish I could drop dead right here, right now. Just fall off this tree branch I’m perched on and die. Have something come alone and crush my wings. Have whatever eats butterflies eat me.
I can’t die. Cendres made sure I’d suffer alone. I can’t meet people or animals either. I don’t think I’ve had something to eat in…weeks? Who cares. It won’t kill me.
Nothing will kill me. Except maybe heartache. There’s no hope, is there? I’m on earth, and I can’t get back to Darclainia no matter how hard I try. I’m perched on some billboard for a Broadway musical coming soon to New York in Times Square. Why here? I don’t know.
I tried to kill myself. I flew up to the top of the Empire State Building at night. The lights were everywhere, and I gues
Let's Play Anna Chapter 13.Chapter 13. <--- I don’t really like that number…
“Blue roses,” Blumiere tells me on Valentine’s Day my senior year. It’s been over two years since the scare on my sixteenth birthday, and now I’m eighteen. Nothing else has happened, other than a few talks about sleeping with each other. And I won’t talk about that time when Blumiere was a legal adult and I wasn’t. We both knew that time was going to come, seeing as how his birthday is December 6th of the year before I was “born.” He holds out a bouquet of my favorite blue roses that can survive winter on magic, and I take them, giving him a kiss.
“Thank you,” I say with a smile as I’m on my toes. He’s grown, but I haven’t. In all the years I’ve been alive, the only growth I’ve gone through is in bra size, and even that is slight. But Blumiere doesn’t care.
“Anna,” he starts slowly,
Let's Play Anna Chapter 12.Chapter 12. Kidnapped? This is bad…
When I wake up, I don’t just wake up. I jump up to my feet, breathing audibly loudly and fighting tears. My leg is wrapped up with white bandages, and I’m in a cage in a room with a bed and a door and regular bedroom furniture. Bedroom? No… I glitch my hand and pass it through the bars, but it doesn’t go through… I can’t get my mind through the room, either. I stopped carrying my cell phone everywhere with me after I figured out to reach any minds from anywhere. I’m alone…
I sink to the ground and let the tears fall. That quickly turns to sobs.
The guy appears right in front of my cage, making me gasp and choke on my own air. “Aww, what’s wrong?”
I look over at him, wiping my soaking wet face away. “I-I…” My voice is so shaky… “I wanna go home!” I wail. “I-I wanna see Blumiere, and-and Chy, and…” Sa
Let's Play Anna Chapter 11.Chapter 11. Does New Year’s Day Seem Like Two Separate Days to Anyone Else? Or Just Me?
I wake up late on my birthday in Blumiere’s bed. He’s holding me against his chest and running his fingers through my hair, and when he sees that I’m awake, he holds me even tighter. “Anna, don’t ever scare me like that again,” he says. “You lost your memory early this morning to the scientists, but Chy and Ben and I got it back for you. Chy had to knock out some scientists, so I’m really hoping that they don’t have any recollection of that.”
I bury my face in his chest and just lay there. I thought that had been a dream. It feels like it was one… “I’m sorry,” I say, only it turns out muffled.
“It’s not your fault,” he tells me softly. “It’s okay. Do you want to go eat your birthday cake?”
That brings a small smile to my face. I nod, and he kisses
Death isn't a fresh perspectiveI saw my mother
swallowing something small
when I was just a child
The anguish in her eyes
faded, as she told me
it was just a
with a little extra kick
maybe years later,
that's how I convinced
to swallow fifteen,
give me a fresh perspective;
in the end,
my breath reeked
instead of mint.
Our Captain (Robin Williams Remembrance Poem)Oh, Captain
We’ve never had,
A Friend like You.
You came to us as an Alien,
from the Planet Ork.
But through the Years,
You made Home in Our Hearts
We Saluted You over the Airwaves
We Watched You get Sucked in a Game,
And Haul Your Family in the Big Rolling Turd.
You were a British Nanny,
Who was actually their Dad.
A Business Man,
Who was actually Peter Pan.
A Crazy Scientist,
Making a Being called Flubber.
Who Just Wanted to be Free.
You were a Robot,
Made of Rusty Old Parts.
We’ve never had,
A Friend like You.
You became the Man of the Year,
And the Wax Figurine Exhibit
Of the Twenty-Sixth President
Of the United States of America.
You Were the World’s Greatest Dad,
And the World’s Greatest Therapist.
You Had a License to Wed
And be a Kid,
Who Grew Up Four Times Too Fast.
You only Won One Oscar.
But that’s okay.
We Love all Your Other Works Anyways…
We Will Miss You
to a crucifix
on the left side
of his neck
tells me he can end all
of your suffering -
and i look at him
and i cross my arms, thinking
he can't even do this
DoormatI let you walk
All over me
Like the floor
Beneath your feet
And I never complain
The floor doesn't
If the floor complained
When you walked on it
You would be very annoyed
And you would probably
So I don't complain
Because I don't want
To be replaced
And I let you
Push me around
Like a cart
Through a shop
And I never push back
The cart doesn't
If the cart pushed back
When you pushed it
You would get hurt
And you would probably
So I don't push back
Because I don't want
To be left alone
Now, and forever more
Who lets you
Wipe your feet on my face
I love you
But I question
If you love me back
Because who would love
A dirty old Doormat?
It Trapped Her, It Released HerWhen I was younger, and little girl, I wanted a little brother.
So when she got home, I excitedly ran down stairs to tell my mother
She looked at me nervously, and brushed my question away.
“Honey, I don't have time now, we'll talk about it another day.”
I was slightly disappointed because my friends all had younger siblings,
I only had an older sister who tried her best to ignore me.
But that day she heard what I asked my mother and after dinner, pulled me in her room.
And with a sneer she whispered silently, “Mother sent our little brother to heaven too soon.”
At the age of nine, with a child's mind, I had no idea with that meant.
“Is that why Daddy went away, because he misses him?”
“Daddy got depressed and died,” she replied with a scowl,
“But don't be sad, he's in the clouds, he's with our brother now.”
Days went by and I remained silent,
yet I could see the light in my mother's eyes no longer lit.
After my question she w
I died todayI died today
Took my own life
I was tired
I was desperate
And now I'm dead
People never cared
So I left them behind
Now a new life awaits
Beyond the gates of Hell
Breathing RoomI leave chrysanthemums
scattered at your feet on tile floor
like the pencil shavings piled
on your desk.
"The flower of death,"
with Rorschach roses on your knuckles
and the hint of a warrior
in the line of your lips,
you sketch bears with open jaws
and black-shadow eyes
in the margins of your math book
with permanent ink.
The hooded abyss of your gaze
you can't bring yourself to say:
Love is short
and prone to fading.
It's a good thing I don't mind breathing life
into negative spaces.
SkinnyI wish you'd believe me,
When I tell you you're pretty,
That you don't need to skip a meal or run 7 miles,
Just so you can be skinny,
You talk about how you hate yourself,
You wish you could be stunning, beautiful, gorgeous.
You think that if you looked like a model,
That you'd never be lonely,
Everyone would love you.
You think you d get that guy you ve been dreaming of,
Maybe mommy and daddy wouldn't be so harsh if they had a pretty little girl.
You re skin and bone,
But that is not good enough,
You need less and less,
And every pound that disappears,
You begin to lose yourself in a vicious cycle.
Until you re consumed and it eats away at you.
I beg you to listen to me,
I want you to know that you mean everything,
But you don't care,
And then when the ambulances came,
And carried you away...
There was nothing more I could say...
I guess you were unaware,
That you were already beautiful.
The EdgeI stand on the Edge
Looking down to the core
Where I see a girl
The core knows
Who I want to be
And the Edge
Is the only thing
And who I want to be
But I'm afraid
Afraid of jumping
Of never turning back
Of making a mistake
Of hurting myself
More than anything
To be able to jump
Over the Edge
And be who I always see
Be who I want to be
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More